Rekindling
by Carabayby
Summary: The Hundred Year War is over. Zuko and Katara struggle with their new lives, the loss of loved ones, and the feelings they have for each other. Takes place between ATLA and ALOK, following canon info. Bittersweet. Zutara. CURRENTLY DISCONTINUED. MAY OR MAY NOT REWRITE/UPLOAD.
1. Unresolved Feelings

Katara stared at Zuko with hard eyes, her arms crossed. He squirmed under her gaze. Good, he should be squirming. "What the hell was that?"

"Er...what? What-what was-what now?" He coughed into his fist and looked behind him to his right. Yawning, he scratched his head of long greying hair. He stood still, turned away from her, unacknowledging.

The sun had set and the blue shadows of twilight began to cover the Southern Water Tribe. Snow sat heavily on the land, unmoving but for the lightest that drifted along in the icy breeze. He had only visited twice before, once when he was searching for the Avatar. The lack of anything surprised him. One warrior-if Sokka could have been called that so early on-and the rest women and children. A handful of huts with fewer fires shared between them, and no trees in sight. He had wondered how a people could survive solely on animal flesh and scant amounts of shrubbery and roots, but as he had come to befriend the Water Tribe siblings, Zuko learned that they were survivalists to the core. Their passion and determination kept them warm, their loyalty and love were the reason they endured. It took the fiercest to live in such a harsh, unforgiving world. The last time was for Aang and Katara's wedding, forty years ago.

His chest constricted, and he blamed it on the cold. He pulled his coat tighter around himself and sent heat into his extremities.

She frowned, quietly pulling water from the ground, and froze his feet in place as he was about to leave. He turned his head, surprised. "What did you just do that for?" she demanded.

"I could ask you the same." He could have melted the ice, but he decided to let it stay. At least he couldn't run away, for the moment. He had run away from the truth for too long, and he didn't want to do it again. If he did, he might die with everything lost in confusion or unsaid.

"Zuko, I'm too old for this. If you have something to say, say it or leave it alone and let me go home." She recrossed her arms and watched him, waiting for a reply.

He bit his lower lip and fidgeted with his hands. Katara stared at them, wrinkling but still strong. She could see the beginnings of arthritis in his knuckles. When had they become so old? "Well, you see, the thing is...You remember the hundred year war?"

She returned to her cold demeanor, arched a brow. "Yes, we were there."

"It's just-I wanted to tell you but then you went off to see Aang and-"

"That was decades ago," she said, beginning to lose her patience. Something snapped within her. "Why are you bringing this up now? Why did you never say anything before? You think you can go off and marry Mai and raise her children, and once she and Aang are gone you can come to me for comfort because you had a crush on me when we were teenagers? Your chance is _over_ , Zuko. I don't care about it anymore. I lost you before we even had a chance to be together. Aang died, Sokka died, Suki left to Kyoshi Island, and Toph is off on her own who knows where!" Her eyes were wide and fiery. It was like stepping back in time. She was always going to call people out. And now she was daring him to contradict her.

And he knew she was right. He sighed, let the ice melt around his feet, turned. Eyes closed, he breathed deeply through his nose. He let his head drop. What would Iroh say? "Katara."

"What?" Her voice cracked. Was it anger? Yes, but there was also...pain?

He looked to her. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, finding home in thin wrinkles. His face softened as he stepped towards her, wiping the tears from her eyes, leaving his hands on her face. He stared into her melting eyes. "I was afraid. I didn't want to hurt anyone." His brows pulled together and his eyes flashed. "You two seemed so happy. How was I supposed to stand up at your wedding and tell you I loved you? Aang loved you. Mai loved me. I had a duty to my people to marry and have an heir." His voice dropped to the barest whisper, "You were never going to leave Aang and live with me in the Fire Nation."

Katara broke from his hold, sobbing. She turned away and held herself before sitting in the snow and burying her face in her hands. As she struggled to breathe and calm herself, Zuko kneeled beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I was waiting for you that day. I waited so long. Why do you think the wedding started so late? I thought you were going to come back for me, tell me to marry you instead. But you didn't." Her tears came back to her, rolling through her body, until her chin shook from the sobs that ripped from her throat.

His stomach lurched. She'd been blushing and smiling innocently, embarrassed. It was obvious she was in love. _She just had cold feet, right?_ He hadn't expected that it was him that she'd been in love with.

He moved so he was facing her, and sat in the snow. She cried for a long time, shaking with effort, as all her pain emptied through her eyes, into her hands. There was nothing for him to do. She needed to cry, and he wasn't going to tell her to stop. A few tears of his own began to fall, but he burned them from his face and tightened his throat. It was selfish of him to do this when she was in more pain. He sat back and watched her until he lost track of the time, watching her empty her heart into her hands. Snow was falling lightly. It sat in her hair and gathered in her lap. He admired her strength and vulnerability, something he hadn't been able to show simultaneously. The snow continued to fall and the breeze picked up. He knew she was used to the cold, but he was worried she would get pneumonia. "Katara," he said gently.

"What?" her voice cracked, only with pain, sadness.

"Can I walk you home?"

She took her hands from her face and looked up at him. His mouth was in a slight frown, eyes melting with tears, and his good ear was turning red. Was he getting too cold? He was a firebender, but she recalled when he got sick trying to keep himself warm in an icebox.

He looked down at his hands as his shoulders began to rise to his ears. She was going to tell him to go back to the Fire Nation and watch over his grandchildren. She was going to tell him that Firelord Izumi probably needed his counsel. She was going to tell him that he was a coward and a liar. She was going to tell him she had never had the same feelings.

Katara's hands rested on his shoulders now. He looked up at her and the tears raced down his cheeks. She smiled at him. "Yes. Please walk me home."


	2. Sea Discovery

She sat on the beach, knees pulled up to her chest. She let her eyes close, rested her chin on her knees, and wrapped her arms around her legs. The dull sound of the waves brushing against the shoreline lulled her into a semi-sleep of nostalgia. The sun warmed her skin, began to burn lightly. Eyes still closed, she brought a tendril of seawater to her and let it pour over her arms and legs, causing her to shiver.

The others were off playing, except for Toph, who sat with her feet deep in the sand. She would have preferred more solid ground, but there wasn't any place close enough to the shoreline. Suki sat with her a while, until Toph told her she should go play with the others. She obviously didn't like being a bother to the others, but they were friends, and wanted to keep her with them. So they would switch between the water and the beach.

Katara decided to be on her own. There had been more interaction than she'd wanted, and she needed to rest her mind. Aang had already told everyone they were together. He hadn't asked her if it was okay, and now she was holding her frustration in. It had been only two weeks! Dating was one thing, but saying they were together was something completely different.

Though, when she thought about it from his perspective it made sense. He had lost everyone he knew, and she was the first person he saw after waking up. It would only make sense that he wished to attach himself to her. Romance was the best way to keep someone as close as possible. Yes, she cared for him. Yes, she liked kissing him, and being close to him. But there was something in her that was uncomfortable, unsure, and she couldn't figure out what it was. She knew she would either get over it, or find out what it was, and everything would work out the way it was supposed to be.

She stood up and walked towards the shore, into the ocean. The sand of the sea squished between her toes and pulled away with the tide. She got in up to her neck, the cold water contrasting with the warm sea breeze, and began to form a pocket of air for her head.

"Katara, what's up?" Sokka called to her from some yards away. He was playing a ball game they'd discovered from Zuko, and altered it so they could play in the water.

Smiling, she called back. "Just want to do some exploring."

"Okay!" He grinned and went back to playing.

Submerging herself fully, she tread water, watching the long, thin fish swim lithely about her. They were almost see-through. She could see their skeletons, their little mouths opening and closing to gobble up infinitesimally small pieces of food. Her lids closed, and she floated in the wonderful experience of weightlessness.

She understood how Toph could find peace in the earth. It was comforting, feeling the grains of sand scratch her callused feet, the rocks holding solid against her body, especially when the sun warmed them, and you could soak it all in. Water was the same to Katara, with a softer touch.

How Aang and Zuko found peace in their elements didn't make sense to her. The wind made her cranky. It was constant, pushy, and demanded to be noticed. Fire was something she was still learning to live with. As time passed, she might become comfortable with the idea of fire as something that brought people together-cooking together, sitting at a bonfire-rather than tearing them apart.

She moved through the sea, her thoughts focused on the animals around her. Quietly, she began to make little whirlpools to try to play with some of the fish. They avoided them at first, then scuttled off when she continued to pester them.

Discouraged, she turned away from them. She looked at a bit of coral, which turned into a burst of lightning. Her body seized up, and the bubble around her breached, the water rushing to fill the void. _She was at the Agni Kai with Zuko. He leapt, taking the attack and holding it in too long._ Water poured into her throat through her mouth and nose. _With a thud, he fell heavily to the ground as the lightning coursed through his body, and he shook in pain. She called out to him, but Azula turned her sights on Katara again._ She was too late, and too weak. Her eyes closed heavily, and she felt herself drifting away.

" _Katara!" Everyone was screaming at her, urging her to open her eyes. Everything ached, she couldn't breathe. Someone's hands were on her chest, pumping her heart. Why was she dry? She had been in the water. A fire coursed through her lungs and she took a gasping breath in. The hands stopped pressing against her chest, stayed where they were a moment, moved to touch her cheek. "Katara?" The voice was soft, ragged._

 _She opened her eyes, saw everyone leaning over her, fear in their eyes. Following the hands that touched her, she saw the healing scar in the center of his chest, saw Zuko. With effort she croaked, "What happened?"_

 _Everyone breathed a sigh of relief._

" _You blacked out in the water," Aang said. "We didn't know about it until Zuko saw bubbles coming up from where you were."_

" _Thank you, Zuko."_

 _He nodded. "You should rest here. It took a lot out of you." He had to refrain from pulling her to him, resting his forehead against hers. His breath was still heavy from fear and determination. What would have happened if he hadn't seen her?_

" _I'll say! What happened that you forgot to keep bending?" Toph placed a hand on Katara's, patting it, not slapping it. It was the first time Katara remembered Toph being gentle with her._

 _She shuddered. "I was thinking about my mom, I think. It was someone important, anyhow." She looked at Zuko and took his hand. "You've saved me too many times. How can I repay you?"_

 _His heart seized up in his chest. No._

" _Sacrifice yourself to the melon lord," Toph whispered._

 _He forced a smile and the others laughed lightly, nervously. "Stay my friend until I piss you off again."_

 _She laughed, strained, tears forming in her eyes. "I will, and after." His response shattered her, and she began to weep, letting out wails of pain. Aang grabbed her and held her close, not understanding, as Zuko rubbed her back. Everyone stayed close by, but gave them some room. After her crying wound down, Aang continued to hold her, while Zuko's hand had trailed away, but stayed close to her fingers in the sand._


	3. Shaky Hands

They stood up slowly, and held onto each other. There wasn't anything else to use for support. Trees were more than lacking in the Southern Water Tribe. Katara was too stubborn to use the walking stick Tenzin had got for her. It was from a thick, sturdy branch he had painted orange and blue, spiraling up to the handle. He gave it to her some weeks after Aang's death. It was beautifully made, but she rejected it, and it had been hiding in the back of her closet ever since. She felt like she wasn't old enough to use one; she remembered Gran-Gran falling more and more on ice patches as her health deteriorated. She bit her lip, trying not to think about that happening to her. Since she wasn't that old yet, she decided she didn't need it. I'll use it if I fall, but if I don't, in the closet it stays, she thought.

 _Zuko was probably just trying to be kind and gentlemanly. Even when he'd been younger and against the Avatar, he was at least respectful. As he grew up, he became kinder and his smiles appeared more often, especially when he was with his daughter. His people rarely saw him smile. He had been cautious, not wanting to appear weak. That did not mean he acted similarly to Ozai. If he had learned anything, it was that he needed to trust his people in order for them to return the sentiment. He was calm, courteous, and a fair Firelord. His smiles were saved for Izumi, Mai, Uncle Iroh, and his old friends. The rest were not given the oppportunity to see their leader joyous and carefree._

 _He looked down at her, concerned. She wiped at her face and looked back. Her tears could show every emotion: pain, anger, fear,_ _happiness, pride. She had been a crier as long as he'd known her, but he had come to understand what emotions were behind her tears. She'd also been a yeller for as long as he'd known her, but yelling was a bit more narrow for her: anger, frustration and to make a point._

 _Uncertainly, he moved closer, wrapped his arms around her, and held tight. She let out a breath and leaned into him, hiding her face against his chest. The scent of cinnamon and jasmine wafted about her. He recalled how much cinnamon she cooked with, and that jasmine was the only perfume she would ever wear. Uncle Iroh's wedding gift to her had been a very large quantity of jasmine perfume; Zuko was fairly certain she was wearing the very same at that moment._

 _He stroked her hair. The majority was still brown, but now shot with grey and white. Touching her hair wasn_ _'t something he ever remembered doing before. The softness was inviting. He began to hum lowly, a lullaby his mother used to sing to him, and Katara pulled him closer by his coat. Not wanting the moment to end, he sang Iroh's song for Lu Ten. "...Brave soldier boy comes marching home…"_

 _They began to walk slowly towards home, holding each other tightly. Katara's hands shook, and Zuko held her right to try to stabilize it. He wondered when she had last eaten. It must have been around noon. Frowning, he wondered how well she was taking care of herself. He had only been here a few days, but already it seemed like she was forgetting to eat, or said she did not want to. Her pet was just about the only thing she showed any concern for, though know with his long-awaited confession, he wondered if he could be added to the list._


	4. Cold Feet

Katara was sitting in her room, at her desk, looking at the engagement necklace Aang had given her. From the silver chain hung a _malachite stone, engraved with a panda-lily. It was beautiful, but she looked at it with a sadness in her eyes. She had said yes to him. She set it in front of her, next to letters from friends and documents from the Water Tribe council. It seemed out of place, something that was for a different person, living a different life. Her life was meetings and training, preparing meals and healing the young warriors that were too hotheaded to know when to take a break. Marriage, children, these were not things she had had time to think about, not when all the men were out at war, and not now that she was working on the council and trying to maintain her status and combat prowess. But here she was, engaged, confused, and not ready for her future._

 _She hadn't told anyone, but still, everyone knew. Aang had asked her father beforehand, who, according to Sokka, eagerly consented. He had asked her immediately afterward. She was not surprised, but she still was shoked. This was her life. This was her boyfriend of four years asking her to be his forever. Her words caught in her throat and she sputtered out an elated yes. As soon as she had agreed to marry him, Aang raced off spreading the news across the tribe. Everyone was congratulating the two, bringing presents and talking about building a house for them. Aang joined in and started making plans._

 _And then everyone started talking about babies. When? How many? What will you name them? Do you think any of them will be airbenders? What if, by some horrible accident, Aang were to die before the birth of their waterbender child; could that child become the next Avatar? Not only was it something she didn't want to think about, she was appalled that people would make conjectures about Aang's death and how it would affect their children. He was still a young man; why would they make her think about losing him so soon?_

 _That was when her feelings about marriage started to take an unexpected turn._

 _On and on the planning and teasing went, until Katara had decided to hole herself up in her room and wait for the excitement to die down. She had been keeping to herself for the past week now, and she still couldn't stop unwanted visitors from coming to her home. They brought presents and food, unwanted advice and pestered her to promise to visit them when she got the chance. Katara and Aang's room were filled with knickknacks they didn't know what to do with, and the food was coming in so fast, even with Sokka on their side, they couldn't keep up and had to give some away to neighbors. Not everyone was lucky enough to have the bride of the Avatar grow up in their village._

 _The only time she could really get peace was when she went off to hunt, which was really just a pretense for her taking the boat out by herself. People tried to stop her, or asked to go with her, but she shouldered them off and explained she was capable of going on her own. It seemed that with the exciting news of a marriage, the tribe had forgotten that at the age of fourteen, she helped end the hundred year war. This was not only with the one she was betrothed to, but also her brother, a blind earthbender, a formerly banished prince, a Kyoshi warrior, and a ragtag crew that had grown into an army, dedicated to fighting on their side. Suddenly she was downgraded from waterbending master and warrior to future bride of the Avatar. The bitterness of it tainted her taste buds, and she wondered what Kyoshi would have done. Probably something drastic with her no-nonsense attitude. Katara would direct the boat out into the area where she and_ _Sokka had discovered Aang, and practice her bending. Whenever she tried near the village, people would stare and ask her to teach them. It wasn't that she didn't want to, but she knew none of them were benders, and there was no point in teaching someone that would never learn._

 _Her bending suffered. Her blood boiled even in winter and there was no way for her to calm down. She moved frantically, trying to get back into the swing, the gentle push and pull, but rage seethed from her fingertips and disappointment drowned her. It resembled what a firebender or earthbender would do, so she studied her scrolls with more intensity and will to relearn. The more she went hunting, the worse her bending became, and the more afraid she was of bending around the tribes people. They would doubt her and say that she had only gone along to be with Aang; she had never really helped in the war. Her new status would be earned. So she would go back to the sea where her bending continued to devolve. After a month, she could barely make a splash, and stopped going hunting altogether. And now her wedding was three weeks away. Toph was coming, Suki was coming, Haru was coming, Ty Lee and Mai were coming with Azula, who had gained control of her mind over the last four years. Zuko had written to say that he would attend, despite the turmoil of radicals that still sided with Ozai. Iroh was going to be arriving in a few days. He said he was too excited to wait for Zuko, who would only be staying for a week and leaving the day of the wedding._

 _Katara rested her head on her desk and covered it with her arms. She loved Aang, really she did. But how could she face Zuko? She had gone from fearing him, hating him, trusting him, and despising him, to quietly, secretly falling in love with him, and then letting him go to be with Aang, someone she had come to love as time passed. And it felt right. Her life had been so caught up in surviving and adventure, that the quiet, sweet romance blossoming between she and Aang felt like relaxing in warm water. It was safe and cozy, contented, something she hadn't felt since before her mother died._

 _Besides, she wouldn't be a good Fire Lady. She wasn't even from the Fire Nation. She groaned as she realized Zuko had never confessed his feelings, let alone asked her to marry him. He was with Mai, and although they seemed to clash at times, she couldn't deny there was affection between them. They knew what their relationship was, that sometimes they wouldn't be able to see each other, that they would save each other, that even when things became strained, they would not leave each other._

 _After a moment of despair, she jumped from her chair and started pacing quickly. Maybe if she distracted herself she would stop thinking about it. Waterbending was out of the question. She needed something simpler, more primal, a chase. She slipped from her room and left the house from the back, skittering down the snow as she headed for the water's edge. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one saw her, she tumbled through the snow, and stood up covered in it. She let out a sigh. Everything was going wrong. When she looked up at the sea, she spotted a pack of polar bear dogs. Perfect. She raced towards them. They were lazing on the tundra, snacking on a small group of penguins when they saw her fast approaching. The polar bear dogs got to their feet and started for the water._

 _Her heart pounded as she pushed herself to go faster, arms pumping, feet pitter-pattering on the light snow. Hopefully she didn't fall into a drift again. The runt of the pack was slow going, limping after its mother and siblings. As she neared the animal, it stood on its back feet, crying out to its family as they swam off. Katara slowed to a jog, then took small, hesitant steps towards the polar bear dog._

 _The mother looked back and let out a wail of despair. The baby cried after her._

" _Hey, hey there," she said quietly. The animal turned to her and dropped to sitting, looking at her with mournful eyes. "Ming Li, come here Ming Li." She held her hand out for the polar bear dog to smell._

 _Ming Li became interested and started towards Katara until her nose touched her fingers. Her breath warmed the woman's hand as she sniffed, then stuck her tongue out and licked. Katara smiled. "Hi girl. I didn't mean to make your family leave you. Maybe they'll come back. You can stay with me until they do." Ming Li let Katara rub her head and scratch behind her ears. She closed her eyes at the touch. Katara was surprised the animal let her get so close without taking so much as a nip at her._

 _Katara led her to the house and inside to her room. Ming Li sniffed around, unsure if she should lay down or run back to the water. After staying on alert for the next few hours, while Katara wrote a few letters, she fell asleep on a blanket left on the floor. She began to snore lightly, and started to run and whimper in her sleep._

 _Katara frowned, her heart aching. She shouldn't have been so rash. Now this small animal was without her family and missing them. Why had she done what had been done to her as a child? She bit her lip and continued to write letters and take notes by candlelight, until Aang came in, kissed her on the top of the head, and fell onto the bed, instantly asleep and snoring._

 _As her candle burned down, she sealed her final letter and set it aside. She sat back in her chair and stared into the small flame. Unblinking, unmoving, she watched until the wick ran out of wax to consume and the flame extinguished itself. Whisps of smoke poured from the end of the wick. A shiver ran through her and the imprint of the flame stayed in her eyes. She rubbed her hand down her cheek and closed her eyes, leaning on the back legs of the chair. Yawning, she moved towards the bed and laid down next to Aang. She stared up at the ceiling, focusing on her breathing until she fell into an uneasy sleep._


	5. Distract and Deflect

Author's Note: I'm new to this site, so I apologize for past and possible future problems (i.e., most of the text being in italics, not knowing how to separate scenes in the same chapter). If you have any tips, please let me know. :)

Zuko stared at the ceiling, trying not to think. He wanted to set the letter on fire. But then he would have to write it again, and he didn't want to continue pretending to be happy that Katara and Aang were getting married. Though that wasn't much of an option, seeing as he had just accepted their invitation and wished them happiness. At least there were a few things in the letter that were true. Before he could change his mind, he sealed it and gave it to a servant, who scuttled out of his study in a hurry.

Taking the letter in his hand, he heated it, letting smoke drift from the corners. Her tight cursive covered the page with information about the time and date, that she hoped he would find the time to attend. He pulled the heat out of it and crammed it into his desk under some financial documents.

He stood and left his office, heading for the gardens. Servants and advisors tried to speak to him, but he ignored them. He felt a little bad, but he knew if anyone brought up a problem he would snap at them and feel worse. He threw off his shirt and shoes and started training, not bothering to warm up. Fire blazed in his hands, growing hotter and brighter until the pain and urgency forced him to shoot the flames up into the air, where they dissipated into thin billows of smoke. His bending was reckless, desperate. It reminded him of his Agni Kai with Azula. The winter sun beat down on him and a migraine began knocking against the walls of his head. It was never cold in the Fire Nation; he was possibly dehydrated already. He continued to train for a few hours, never taking a break or slowing down.

His body ached and cried out for relief, but he refused to give in to it. A part of him still heard Ozai calling him a waste, Azula laughing at his poor bending abilities. His mother holding him as he cried. Why did Dad hate him? Why did he love Azula better? Why did Azula hold so much power over him? He was older; he should have been the one Ozai loved most. His first-born, the one that would inherit the throne.

Why did those he cared little for desire his attention? Jin had been sweet and eager. She reminded him of Ty Lee, but not in a constant state of awe. Her admiration of the fire's reflection on the water was something that ignited a spark in him, but not for her.

For the waterbender that refused to back down to him. Fire had destroyed her life, but she did not run from it. She confronted him, called him out, and fought against him, even when the odds were against her. His fire lit everything up so it could be seen clearly, sometimes in soft, loving light, sometimes in a harsh, painful one. And her water made him look at that reflection he'd cast a light on. She would not let him turn away from it when she told him to see the truth, and the distortions he'd created in order to continue believing he was right, dismissing the opinions of others.

Fire rushed up his throat and burst from his lips. He let out a kihap that turned into a prolonged scream. A guard tried to intervene and get him to rest, but the Firelord scared him off with one look. The guards became worried and called for Iroh.

The old man forced him to stop and took him inside for dinner, though his nephew ate little. He gulped down water and emptied wine glass after wine glass. He was still in his sweaty clothes, looking tired out and upset, picking at his food without bothering to pretend he was eating. Drinking had never been one of his vices, but he had a feeling it would become one if he didn't keep his emotions in check.

Mai asked him what was bothering him. Zuko only said he was stressed out and a bit worried, but he didn't elaborate. Mai nodded her head and continued to eat. "Maybe you need a vacation," she suggested. "It gets boring around here, and all you can do is focus on work and politics."

Iroh perked up. "We already have one planned, remember? Katara and Aang are getting married in a month! We're going to visit them in the Southern Water Tribe." He smiled broadly. "I'm going to need to buy them a wedding gift," he mumbled, becoming lost in his thoughts.

Zuko's demeanor remained unchanged. "It isn't so much a vacation as a celebration."

Mai looked at him. Was there really a difference between the two? Well, yes, she conceded. Vacations were for doing what you wanted to do. Celebrations were for being cheerful for others, as was expected. Maybe he was unhappy they were going to be married. Because it would be before theirs? He hadn't asked her yet, though. Perhaps he was just stressed about asking her, and the wedding was something he wasn't expecting so soon.

"Well, I am going to enjoy myself while I'm there." Iroh became quiet again, probably thinking about what to buy the couple for their wedding. Whatever he was thinking, it was going to be grand and extravagant, but essentially useless. A vase for flowers that didn't grow in the Water Tribe, or a lifetime supply of fire flakes, that would only cause them to make funny faces, sneeze, and gulp water down.

Neither noticed the old man take note of his nephew, realizing what it was that was truly bothering him. There was no gentle way of telling him to do what he must. The young man was so concerned with honor and justice, he probably wouldn't admit his feelings to his uncle, but that wasn't an excuse not to try. Honesty and authenticity where something he needed to learn, and fast if he wanted to express himself before it was too late.

"Ugh, I hate the cold. But I guess if my friends are going it might be okay. I'm glad Azula can finally go somewhere with us." She smiled at Zuko.

Zuko tried to return one and failed. "I'm going to sleep." He left the room, leaving his plate full, while the two sat and looked at each other, unsure of what to say to the other. The sound of china shattering on the floor echoed into the dining room.


	6. Remember

Author's Note: There is a small sex-related portion in this chapter.

"I see you've all been busy," Iroh commented as he admired the new house Katara and Aang would be moving into. It was a simple hut, like the many others that had popped up from new families and Northern Water Tribe members. However, the front door had two insignias, the Air Nomads and the Water Tribe side-by-side. Sokka had had the wood imported from the Earth Kingdom, carved it and stained it himself. He was proud when he gave it to the couple, reminding them it was their wedding present from Suki and him, so don't expect to get another.

"You want a tour? We just have to decorate it, and then after the wedding, we'll live here permanently. Which won't be difficult with all the presents people have been giving us. Right now they're just in a messy pile." Aang had a smile plastered across his face as he looked from Iroh to Katara.

She smiled lightly. He was so sweet. He loved her so much. And she loved him so much. And they were going to be married in two weeks. She and Aang, the Avatar. The one she had had helped save the world. Not the former banished prince who regained his honor by aiding the Avatar. Not Iroh's nephew. Not the Firelord. Her engagement necklace hung heavy from her neck.

Iroh consented with a grand "But of course," and followed Aang to the door. Katara stayed where she was, unable to shake her thoughts from her head, unable to move. Her heart raced and she bit her lip.

She hadn't seen him in years. They wrote letters to each other often, but no sentiments beyond friendship had been expressed, not even hinted at. She was lying to herself, thinking that the Firelord might care for her as more than a friend. He was with Mai, a noblewoman of the Fire Nation. She would make a much better Fire Lady. The rules, the duties, and the expectations, these were all things that she had studied as a child. The unlikely possibility of Katara ever gaining that position would be nothing but daunting and tiring. She would be too worried about messing up to even focus properly on her wonderful husband. Her thoughts wandered to lying in bed with him, his arms tightly wrapped around her as she dreamt. She frowned and tried to think at least a bit rationally. The civilians probably wouldn't even accept her, and then he'd really have to marry a Fire Nation noblewoman.

"Katara?" Aang looked at her, concern in his eyes. He had noticed her becoming more dazed as their wedding neared. Was she getting cold feet? He knew he was technically 98 years older, but he was mentally still two years younger. If anything, he would keep their marriage vibrant and happy. Maybe he would talk to her later to see if there was something he could do for her.

"Are you alright, my dear?" Iroh walked to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Yes, of course. I'm just a little tired. I think I'll go check on Ming Li." She rubbed her face, and both men saw the dark circles under her bloodshot eyes.

Maybe she just needs a nap, Aang thought. "Okay," Aang said, unconvinced that she was telling the whole truth.

"We'll go see how you are in a while," Iroh added, following Aang into the house where she would spend the rest of her life.

With a small shudder, she turned and walked quickly to her family's house and threw herself on her bed, her eyes in the crook of her elbow. A headache pounded against her skull. She grit her teeth together to stop the pain, though she knew it would only make it worse. She was torturing herself and she knew it, but without her bending, she had no way to truly distract herself. Ming Li made her want to cry, knowing she had broken up her family. Aang made her feel guilty for thinking of another, and Iroh made her feel nostalgic and melancholy.

Suki tried to talk with her, but after snapping that she needed time to be alone, the warrior relented. She hadn't seen Suki for about three days now. Katara was angry with everyone when she knew it was not their fault. She was angry because she still thought of a man that was far away, living a different life, probably thinking of her only when he received her letters, probably taking the woman he loved into his bed at night. Her heart clenched in anguish. Too much time had passed; there was no way his feelings could spark now.

Seeing that she was feeling bad already, she got up and walked to her desk, pulling out the letters Zuko had sent her over the years and skimmed through them.He addressed her with a few variations: " _Katara, my dear friend, mighty waterbending master, 'Sugar Queen,' as I've heard Toph call you."_ Information about the stabilizing Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom colonies, the radicals, Iroh giving him advice, the stress of being Firelord, his curiosity and grief about his missing mother. Asking how she and her family were doing, how her training w _as, the possibility of her having students, consoling her over her mother. He had not once brought up anything romantic, involving her or anyone else. No crushes, no worrying about marrying and siring an heir. Which, now that she was thinking on it, was very important, and something he should probably be worrying about. And she had not shared any similar information. Everyone know she and Aang were together; there was no reason to talk about the specifics. She went through all of his letters, then stared at the most recent, from two weeks ago, when he informed her he would be attending the wedding. Her headache was worsening, but she pushed through it to read this one fully. It was much shorter than most of his letters, and she would rather fall into her pain as quickly as possible so she could try to return to normal sooner._

_Katara,_

 _Congratulations on your engagement. I_ _'m excited to attend. I plan on arriving a week before the wedding, and leaving promptly thereafter. There are situations involving Ozai radicals that need my attention, but I promise I will be there for you and Aang._

 _Uncle Iroh will keep you busy in the meantime. He's been itching to travel lately, and the wedding gives him a good reason to visit the Southern Water Tribe. Watch out for his marriage comments; I've heard they shouldn't be said within hearing range of children. He's of course planning on bringing tea._

 _As a fair warning, Azula has also accepted the invitation. She'll be arriving with Mai and Ty Lee soon after Uncle Iroh. She has improved greatly, but I still think about the Agni Kai when she tried to attack you. Please be careful around her. I've made sure Mai and Ty Lee promise at least one of them will be with her at all times. A few guards will also escort them._

 _I know you will make a beautiful bride for Aang, and that the two of you will be very happy together. Please give him my regards._

 _Zuko_

 _His hand was more like a scrawl than his usually neat writing. He had said there were problems with traitors. There had been a few assassination attempts over the past few years. The stress and fear must be getting to him._

 _I know you will make a beautiful bride, she thought. For Aang. She shoved the letters back in her desk and made her way to the kitchen. She guzzled a glass of water and covered her eyes with her hands. Why did she continue to hold onto someone she didn't even have?_

 _But he was worried about her. He hadn't said it directly, but it was right there: "I still think about when she tried to attack you." "Please be careful." "A few guards will also escort them." That must count for something. Even if it wasn't romantic, at least he seemed to care about her wellbeing. But anyone that cared about her was the same. Hakoda, Sokka, Gran-Gran, Suki, Aang, Toph. It was no different. She was reading between lines that didn't exist so she could tell herself what she wanted. There was no hard truth, there was no evidence, there were no incriminating facts._

 _There were only these facts. One, they wrote letters to each other regularly. The letters pertained to their day-to-day lives, ordinary stresses, fears, and desires. The desires were for things like a long day on the beach, a bowl of Katara's sea prunes, or a spar. Two, Katara and Aang were getting married, and Zuko would be there. Three, Zuko was worried about Katara being around Azula. Four, Katara had dreams about Zuko and Aang equally. Five, Katara's dreams about Aang made her worried. Six, Katara's dreams about Zuko made her wake up with a smile on her face._

 _Her feelings boiled over and she couldn't hold it in anymore. She needed to do something to make herself remember how much she loved Aang. Back at her desk, she began to write a list. She wrote down any minute and seemingly insignificant piece of information about him. About an hour later, she continued her task while the sun was setting, and lit a candle._

 _Aang came into their room. She didn't turn to him as she continued to scribble. After a moment, he cleared his throat and she set down her pen, looking to him. He'd thrown his shirt off to the side of the room, and, now that he had her attention, was removing his pants. "I thought we could spend some time together." He tossed his pants on the pile._

" _Oh." She wasn't sure what to do. Her list was nagging at her. But maybe this would be more effective. She stared at him, her eyes roaming over his body. Slowly, she stood from her chair and walked to him, placed one hand on his waist and the other on his face. He closed his eyes at her touch, and he pulled her into a kiss. Her body was tense, but she moved with him, following his lead._

 _In the morning, Aang found her asleep at her desk, lying over a scroll. She covered most of it so that he couldn't make any of it out. He stroked her hair, and when she didn't wake, picked her up, and laid her down on their bed. He watched her adoringly. Her brows scrunched together and she had a deep frown on her face. She mumbled in her sleep and rolled over. A name slipped from her lips, but not his. He frowned and turned to her desk, picked up the scroll. It was a long list of facts about him, his eye color, height, likes and dislikes, a timeline of his life. Towards the bottom was a small group of more personal things. "Determination, perseverance, spontaneity." And all on its own at the bottom, "Duty." He set the scroll down and left their room without looking back, unsure of what was in his fiancée's heart._


	7. Lunchtime

The Firelord stepped off the ship and into the cold winter sun. Holding back the urge to bend heat into his body, he walked forward to meet the group of old friends on the snowy land. His guards surrounded him, two in front and two in back. The Southern Water Tribe didn't have much of a problem with him after he had joined two natives during the Hundred Year War, but that did not mean that everyone would be amicable. He still had many that deemed themselves his enemy, that they would be the one to bring him down. Going to a celebration far away from his homeland did not mean that he was safe; if anything, he was more worried because everyone he cared about was close by. They could be held as hostages, and he knew that some of those that continued to threaten him would not care for money; they wanted to see the pain in his eyes as the people he cared for were murdered.

The group rushed forward to pull him into big bear hugs. Katara stayed back and held onto Toph's arm, guiding her through the snow. Aang held Zuko tightly, Sokka gave him a noogie, Suki patted his shoulder, Taru wore an awkward expression, Toph slapped his back, and Katara started rigid, but relaxed against him. They all herded him away from the shore and to the village, where Hakoda, Gran-Gran, and Paku were standing. The older generation bowed politely to him, but the Firelord walked forward and took each into an embrace, surprising them profoundly. Hakoda laughed heartily and put his arm around the young man's shoulders, leading him to his home for lunch.

Inside, already eating, were Mai, Ty Lee, his sister, and Uncle Iroh. Even in a completely different environment, they maintained their personal senses of style. Mai wore only black, her slenderness hidden by the padding and insulation. Her hair was down in an attempt to ward off the cold that clung to her ears and neck. Ty Lee was in perky pink, her feet bare despite the chill in the room, and Azula wore red, orange, and black, her hair up with her Fire Princess crown firmly in place, maintaining her heritage and status in a land that did not believe in nobility. Iroh simply wore more layers under his regular garb, and a hat to keep the warmth in.

When they looked up to him, the women dropped their bowls and went to him, their meal forgotten. Iroh stuffed a few more spoonfuls into his mouth before following. Ty Lee cart wheeled her way over and threw her arms around his waist, laughing. Mai and Azula were trying to regain their stately appearances, walking calmly side by side, holding each other, their arms linked. His girlfriend stood in front of him, smiling and asking how his voyage went. She took his hand and looked up into his eyes, one of her own covered by some out of place strands. He smoothed them away, fixing it behind her ear. They whispered quietly to each other, no one else able to hear. After a moment, he looked to Azula, and Mai moved to stand beside him.

"How do you like the Southern Water Tribe?" he asked.

She nodded her head side to side, her eyes looking up and to the right. "It isn't anything like the capital, but it isn't too terrible. Except for maybe the snow." The princess wrinkled her nose as if she smelled something rotten.

Ty Lee laughed. "She tried to melt it all down, but when it started to freeze again, she gave up."

Azula scowled at her friend. "I'd never seen snow before," she said, defending herself.

Uncle Iroh clapped her on the shoulder. "It is quite a sight. I remember the first time I came here with Zuko and-well, heh heh, maybe that's a story that should be kept in the past." He smiled warmly at his nephew and embraced him.

"You're right, that's in the past. Now let's all eat," Hakoda said, trying to get the group off of the touchy topic.

Sokka let out a whoop and sat down eagerly, serving himself large portions and smiling joyously. He looked up to everyone, still with a smile. "If no one else gets over here, I'm gonna eat it all myself and then Suki will get mad. Help a guy out."

The group moved to the large table and took their places. Hakoda took one head of the table, and pressured Zuko until he agreed to take the other. Suki plopped down by her husband, with Gran-Gran and Paku across from them. The earthbenders sat together, Iroh across from Toph, Ty Lee across from Taru. She batted her eyelashes at him flirtingly, and his cheeks darkened as he coughed and started piling food onto his plate. Aang sat next to Taru, across from Mai, which left Katara between beside Zuko, and awkwardly across from Princess Azula.

The Fire Nation women stayed firmly away from the sea prunes. Ty Lee tried a bite, but decided she didn't like the texture, and gave it to Iroh. He and Zuko ate the same amount as those of the Water Tribe did.

Suki frowned and shook her head when the dish came her way. "I'm sorry, Sokka, but that is one thing I don't think I'll ever be able to enjoy."

He smiled and kissed her cheek. "As long as you don't try to feed us to the Unagi again."

She stuck her tongue out at him and passed the bowl to Hakoda, who put a heaping helping on his plate. The sea prunes ended at Paku. He looked up and asked them all, "Does anyone want more? Otherwise I'm eating the rest. No? Good." The waterbending master didn't allow Sokka the chance to respond, and dumped the rest on his plate, smiling widely at his new grandson. The warrior's face fell and he sat back on his cushion, sadly poking at the feast on his plate.

Zuko ate quietly as Mai talked around Azula about what the three women had done the past week. Ty Lee taught some of the children how to do somersaults and cartwheels, and others that were more flexible and steady were allowed to walk on a tightrope. Katara had advised that the rope be close to the ground, in case they fell off. A boy and two girls had done so well and were so interested in Ty Lee, that they began following her around everywhere, asking her for tips and help when they practiced. The contortionist and acrobat joked that she might bring them to the Fire Nation so she could start her own circus.

Azula had practiced her bending alone, far away from the people of the tribe. She wouldn't admit that she was afraid of their possible reactions, but whenever anyone came within view, she would sit down and pretend to meditate. Mai knew better, though; patience was not the princess' strong point. Sometimes she would cast off her clothes and plunge naked into the icy water, in order to escape onlookers. She didn't complain about the cold when she got out, only dried herself off with her bending, put her clothes back on, and trudged uphill to the chief's home, where no one would ask her questions like, "Why did you follow Ozai?" or "Why did you try to burn Katara?" Children asked the last question most, with angry eyes and sassy pouts. Sometimes an elder would scold her and turn away without a word. If there was anything Azula hated, it was pity, and that was something she was sure wasn't getting here.

Mai played idly with her knives, watched Katara and her grandmother cook, watched Sokka, his father, Paku, and Aang work on the hut he and Katara would be living in after the wedding. As she was explaining this, Aang jumped in and started telling her about the simple architecture and how they were blending in Air Nomad elements to make it feel like home to both of them. Mai listened to him casually, sometimes making a comment, but mostly letting the Avatar talk for the sake of talking.

Katara looked to Zuko, who now had his attention solely on his meal. "I heard there have been a lot of attempts lately. Are you doing okay?" She avoided saying "murder" or "assassination," in case someone else overheard and ran with it, making it the main conversation.

He shrugged. "It's pretty infuriating, but there's not much I can do about it. I try to get on as normally as possible." If he looked at her, he was sure he would break, so he continued to stare at his plate of seaprunes and rice. He was ready to throw the sesaprunes at Sokka, but he ate them. Maybe his disgust of their cuisine would make his feelings disappear. He thought seeing Katara might quiet them, but they only flared at the fuel that was given. Desire, lust, longing, they choked him and threatened to end his life, but he repressed it until apathy was all he showed her. Any amount of affection would undo him.

"Is something else bothering you? You're acting like a miffed lion-turtle." She gently placed her hand on top off his.

Affection like that. He jumped from his seat and caught the attention of everyone. "I forgot I have some important papers I needed to sign before we landed. Please continue without me." He bowed to them and left the hut quickly.

Iroh patted his belly and stood up. "I think I'll go keep him company. I've eaten more than enough in one sitting." He smiled and bowed his way out while the rest looked off in confusion.

Azula looked up to Katara, and leaned forward. "He likes you, you know," she whispered.

She sat back in shock.

The princess shrugged and ate a mouthful of rice and vegetables. "Zuzu used to always say that I lie, but I don't. I mean, sometimes I do, but that's only to get what I want. If it's about how someone feels, I don't. Father always liked me better because I took to firebending quicker. Mother liked him better because he was more sensitive. Uncle likes him better because he was 'abandoned.'" Her eyebrows pulled down into a scowl. "Just because I wasn't banished doesn't mean I didn't lose something." She ate in silence for the rest of the meal and went off on her own.

Aang had to shake Katara a few times before she looked at him. "What was that all about?" he asked.

She played with the food on her plate. "She apologized for what happened at the end of the war."

Author's note: How do you feel about Azula in this chapter? I tried to envision her in control of her mental illnesses, but with her same, direct personality.


	8. Bachelorette Party

**Author's note: As you might be able to tell by the title, there will be some drinking and sensual themes.**

The separate parties were taking place. It was the night before the wedding, and the men and women had split up into different huts: the women in Hakoda's, and the men in Gran-Gran's and Paku's. Gran-Gran warned them not to break anything, or she would make Paku sleep on the floor in the living room. Her husband bore it in cold silence, but once in his home, threatened the men that if he got in trouble, he was going to freeze them all to Ming Li. Sokka and Zuko decided the best course of action was to tie Aang to his chair, who had the sense not to disagree.

They drank too much, except for Aang, who only had water. Sokka and Hakoda tried to loosen him up, but the nomad maintained his firm stance on alcohol. Paku and Iroh sat together, laughing and playing Pai Sho, drinking every time they lost a tile. Taru sat watching them, uninterested, but not sure what else to do. Iroh was on the brink of losing when Zuko noticed his uncle was pretending to drink, burning the alcohol in his throat. Zuko looked over to Paku and watched him empty the contents of the cup into his mouth, but when he swallowed, it sounded dry. The Firelord smirked and turned to see Hakoda and Sokka throwing coins down on the table, each drinking as quickly as possible. It must have been a Water Tribe thing, because he had no idea what the point was.

Zuko moved to sit next to Aang. "You know the whole point of this is to drink and tell dirty jokes, right?"

He shrugged. "I guess it's just not my thing. But everyone else seems to be having fun." Aang smiled, looking at the group. Dirty jokes hadn't started yet, but that was mostly because the drinking made them funnier. There was no doubt that once the members of the White Lotus gave up the charade of their game, Iroh would start telling the most inappropriate ones. Zuko wouldn't be surprised if the three Water Tribe men blushed. "You don't think that's what they're doing over there, do you?" Aang asked, looking over to his friend.

Zuko shrugged back. "I dunno, I've never been on that side." He took a long drink from his cup. It was Fire Nation wine, brought specially for the wedding. The gin Sokka drank tasted strange to him, and he didn't want to be unsure of what his reactions to it would be. So far, he'd never thrown up or been hungover, and he didn't want to take that chance with the wedding in the morning.

Aang laughed. "I have an idea. Why don't you go over there and tell us what they're doing? It's gotta be more fun than just sitting here watching everyone drink."

"They aren't going to let me in. Toph will destroy me."

"Ooh, I know. Say you need to get my staff. They'll probably think I want to see your drunk reactions to airbending. I left it in our room. That should buy you some time."

"Zuko's gonna infiltrate?" Sokka asked, his words slurring with liquor. He raised his cup into the air. "Here's to the Firelord, who's gonna find out the womenses secrets!" Too drunk to think straight, he started pumping his fist, which sent gin over the table and himself.

The older generation laughed at him, while Taru started cleaning up the mess and tried to hide a smile. Sokka flung himself onto the floor, before Paku hauled him up and threatened to sic Ming Li on him. "The infiltration better be good, otherwise I'm gonna be Katara's pet's next meal."

"Go, Nephew. Learn what there is to know about a bachelorette party, and bring the knowledge back here. And then we'll toast some more!"

The group cheered and began to drink anew. Aang put on a silly smile, while Iroh gave Zuko a knowing look. Tell her, it said.

Letting out a deep breath, Zuko drained his cup and went into the snow. No one was outside; it was too late. All the children had to be asleep by now. Their household fires were smoldering quietly, and their candles had burned out.

He wondered what it would have been like to grow up here. The thought of living on animal flesh and the occasional root vegetable seemed too strange for him to imagine. He thought of his own family being from the tribe, not royal, not in charge, just a simple family. His father would have fished and hunted, his mother would have cooked and taught them how to read. He could have grown up as friends with Sokka and Katara. Azula could have lived without so much distrust and pain. What would it be like to be a waterbender?

He looked up to see the full moon, shining down and casting that strange blue shadow across the land. What must Sokka think, every time he looks up to see that, he thought. He was with Suki now, but he must think of Yue every once in a while. She was important to him, someone who had others' best interest at heart, someone who had sacrificed to keep the balance, to save everyone from Ozai. He remembered the disregard he'd held for the princess as he tried to make off with Aang's body. Sokka must have felt the opposite; he must have felt everything for her. There was nothing wrong in that. To care for someone that wasn't, and couldn't be, a part of your life. To want them in your arms.

Fire leaked from his lips, and he pulled his hands to the warmth. Katara felt something. Maybe it was friendship, maybe it was something more. There was no telling unless he asked. But it wasn't something he wanted to bring up. He had pushed it out of his mind, then pushed it off, and now there was no time left.

"Zuko?"

His head snapped up. Suki was there, looking at him, confused, but happy nonetheless. Judging by her gait, she'd had at least a little to drink. Hopefully not the gin. That was what appeared to have done her boyfriend in.

She laughed. "What are you doing out here?"

"I've been sent on an important mission."

"Hey, me too! I need to get some of Kanna's special tea. It's supposed to help cure hangovers."

That was a better alibi than his. Who was going to be hungover? Azula. Fore sure, Azula. "I'm supposed to get Aang's glider. He says he wants to see how we'll react to it when we've been drinking."

Suki raised her eyebrows and smiled mischievously. "So we both have to go into the other's party."

"Looks like it."

They looked at each other for a moment, unwilling to move.

"They're playing drinking games. Paku and Iroh are playing Pai Sho, and Aang refuses to drink."

"Dirty jokes?"

He shook his head. "None yet."

"Eh, same here. I still have to go, though." She shrugged and started off again. "I'll see you on the way back."

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, walked towards Hakoda's house. When he knocked on the door, there was a squeal followed by hushing and a slap. He could only assume it was Ty Lee and Azula. Toph opened the door and grinned at him. She wasn't wearing shoes, as usual, but she also wasn't wearing any pants, and her hair was down from her bun. "Hey there, Hotman. Come to spy on us?"

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Aang wanted me to get his glider."

"Suuuure he did. Come on in, then." She stepped aside and let him through.

The women were all sitting at the table in the living room, in various states of dress, taking swigs from bottles and playing card games. Azula was in her underwear, stroking Ty Lee's exposed stomach. The contortionist was staring into Azula's eyes, and held the hand that was gently moving over her body. Mai, fully clothed, looked up at him and smiled thinly, her cheeks red with alcohol. June, who had joined them a few days earlier, smirked at him over her drink. Kanna and Katara were in their night clothes, giggling with their eyes closed.

"Zuko! Did you see Suki?" Ty Lee asked, moving Azula's hand away and pulling her shirt back on over her head. The princess pouted and took another swig of gin. Yes, she would have a hangover in the morning. And apparently she was terrible at poker.

"You weren't supposed to let him know about that," said Mai, rolling her eyes. She moved to sit between her friends, and looked up at Zuko. Her expression said, "They're getting too hands-y."

Ty Lee clapped her hands over her mouth with a gasp. Letting out a laugh, she said, "I'm bad with secrets. Sorry, everyone."

June shrugged. "He probably saw her anyway. It's not like she was sober."

Toph pulled Zuko along by his sleeve. "Let's go get that 'glider.'"

"Glider?" Katara looked at them, set her cards down. "Aang took his glider with him."

All the women turned on Zuko. Well, shit, maybe someone had slipped Aang some alcohol without him knowing. "No, he specifically told me that it was here."

"Has Twinkle Toes been hitting the gin?" Toph laughed and slapped him on the back. "Or did you just wanna see all these ladies in their undies?" She gestured at herself, mocking sensuality.

His face went from ivory to scarlet in an instant, while the group laughed. "Damn it, Toph, I'm just doing what Aang told me to."

"Well, now we have a problem. Aang says it's here, Katara says it's not. If you wanna get in there to find out, you're going to have to play strip poker with us. Otherwise, we're keeping you hostage until the wedding."

"Toph, he doesn't have to-" Katara started.

"Nope! He's invaded on our space, and now he has to pay."

He put a hand to his face and rubbed it, annoyed. Toph kept her word. Toph and her earthbending were strong enough to keep him there. "Fine," he sighed, sitting down at the table. "But Azula can't play. And she has to leave the room."

"Fine by me," she said, standing up with a bottle, and taking Ty Lee by the hand. They skittered off deeper into the house, giggling.

Kanna stood up. "I won't be able to take the Firelord seriously if I see this, so I'll be going to bed." She shuffled off in the direction Azula and Ty Lee had gone.

So he was now left with Toph, Mai, June, and Katara. Great. Toph pulled her pants on and sat down beside him. "Okay, here we go!"

Half an hour later, Mai had taken off her shoes, while Toph was again without pants. Katara topless, but in her wrappings, and Zuko was down to his underpants. Apparently being bad at poker was in the family. He sent heat throughout the room. He couldn't be the only one that was getting cold. The old bottles were empty, and new ones had been brought in, the drinking continuing into early morning.

June was fully clothed, laughing at him. "Too bad you two didn't stay together," she said, looking to Katara. "This would be a fun story to tell your kids."

Her face flared up. "No, we were never-"

"Pah! I know a connection when I see it. It's my job." She rearranged her cards and looked at the two, across from each other, visibly shrinking into their hands.

Mai smiled. "Did you guys have a crush on each other? If I said the word 'cute,' that's what I'd call it."

Zuko cleared his throat, and Katara bit her lower lip.

Toph erupted into peals of laughter and fell on her back. "Their heartbeats are like a rabaroo's."

"I mean, he let me touch his scar, if that counts for anything," Katara said casually.

Mai looked to him, then turned back to her cards, her jaw tight.

"It was just-she said she might be able to heal it, and I thought maybe I'd be better off without it." He looked down at his own hand of cards, not wanting to upset anyone, afraid of what might happen, afraid of what might not happen. Nothing was going to end up okay in the morning. Either he'd stay with Mai and she'd be upset he hadn't told her about the crush, or Katara would know the truth.

His girlfriend sighed, set her cards down, and held his face in her hands. She stroked his scar with her thumb, and he had to hold himself still so he wouldn't pull away. "Zuko, I've never disliked your scar. It's part of you, and I love you."

This is a catch-22, he realized. So he did the only thing he knew would get him out of it. He threw up all over the table.


	9. Homebound

The couple passed other villagers that were returning home, carrying their traps and their kills. They nodded politely to the two, recognizing them as Lady Katara and the former Firelord Zuko. Katara held onto the Firelord _'s_ arm for support, and they noticed the pain that she tried to hide with her joking. Her eyes were still puffy from crying. Most figured it was because she was aging; walking would be difficult, trying to remember where she had put things would likely frustrate her, seeing an old friend would wash her in nostalgia, melancholy. She'd probably stopped bleeding years ago. The men shuddered, remembering their mothers' reactions to the end of their fertility. Tantrums and outbursts over what seemed to be nothing. It was like pregnancy without the reward of a child. The women worried about their future; would they act the same way their mothers' had?

When she shivered, Zuko sent warmth into his arms for her. Some inquired if they would like to have dinner with them, while others asked to carry Katara's bag. They accepted a few dinner invitations for the next couple of days. It was something Katara had grown used to over the decades of living with Aang. People always wanted to be "graced" with the prescence of people they thought were important. Zuko, however, had not known this type of attention. While he was the reigning soverign, the head of his security banned all social interactions at private homes. Those that vocally opposed him as Firelord were on a long list, which made it difficult for him to make house calls. When asked about her bag, Katara pointed at Zuko and said, "That's what he's for," and patted his arm with a chuckle.

After they left the two alone, Katara became quiet, and a stoic, seriousness settled over her. Zuko felt the uncomfortable silence pulling them in opposite directions. "Are you alright?"

"Fine, just tired."

"I'm sorry for bringing it up, it's just-"

"We can talk about it when we get inside."

They continued to walk in silence. Katara walked as quickly as she could, pushing the pace he had set. She was ready to be inside. Warmth was what she wanted, but Zuko's body was not what she'd had in mind. She wanted a fire and Ming Li and her bed. She was awkward, uncomfortable. Holding onto his arm was something she'd thought about long ago, but now it felt strange, though not uncomforting.

She and Aang had not been exactly passionate all their married lives, but they were intimate. They had loved each other and been together for so long, and Katara had grown so used to him, that now her teenage thoughts of Zuko seemed inauthentic and forced. Perhaps her thoughts had just been those of an infatuated girl. Who wouldn't love to marry the Firelord? Especially one who was a bad boy-or at least, had a bad boy front to his awkwardness and insecurity? He had saved her multiple times, from Azula, a wayward boulder. Maybe it had been from appreciation, or gratitude.

But every time she had looked at him since he'd gone with her to find her mother's murderer, something stirred in her chest. It felt like a vine was twisting around her ribcage, reaching for the sun. Her heart felt light and her breath struggled in her throat. There had been something there, there was no doubt. June had joked about it, then Toph. They saw something, but no one said anything in seriousness. And they both had denied it so vehemently, that the thought of it actually being true would have seemed preposterous.

Perhaps because they were already in relationships of their own, they found it difficult to leave. Zuko had an on again off again relationship with Mai, but she'd been there for his coronation. She was there when he needed her, even if they weren't together when he probably would have liked to have a companion with him. Though Katara and Aang hadn't been in an official romantic relationship, he'd been staring at her with those goo goo eyes since she and Sokka had decided to help him. He had been overprotective of her, he had confessed, and kissed her before the end of the war. His feelings were clear. Hers, however, were not. During the Ember Island play, she'd become angry at him for kissing her, and told him she needed time. And she had, but after she agreed to date him, she realized her feelings, and she was unsure of what to do. So she stayed.

Then everyone was pushing them closer together. Talk of marriage, babies, living together. They were jokes, but it was all Aang could have ever wanted: a place to finally call his own, a wife, their children, his family. When it was certain that Zuko didn't have the same feelings for her, she knew her decision was the right one.

But now here he was, confessing, apologizing, wishing for a chance in the dusk of their lives. Her feelings were so twisted, she was unsure what to do. The comforts of her home would hopefully clear her mind.

As they neared the house, a large, old polar bear dog stood and slowly walked towards them with her tail low, half growling. "Ming Li," Katara called. The polar bear dog's tail began to wag in excitement, and she rushed to the couple, licking their faces. Katara patted the dog's side. "Did you miss me?" she asked lightly.

Yes, thought Zuko.

They walked in and he sent flames into the fireplace before she said a word.

"Thank you."

He nodded.

Ming Li curled up on the floor and waited for Katara to sit near her, tail wagging in anticipation.

"Are you hungry? Do you want tea?"

"Just tea is fine," he said.

Katara went into the kitchen, brought out a kettle and hooked it over the fire. He picked up the large pot of stew she'd directed him to, and set it nearby to wait its turn for the flames. Ming Li's stomach changed her mind, and she carried a bowl in her mouth to Katara, and, laughing, Katara filled the bowl with some cold stew. Her pet ate with ferocity, gulping and licking her lips. She looked around, as if the house were one she was visiting. After a moment, she sat in a chair by Ming Li and looked up at him. "You can sit."

He took a chair facing her, and watched as she pet the animal. Ming Li closed her eyes and yawned, rolled on her side to get more comfortable. Katara threw the blanket over Ming Li, which the polar bear dog was partially laying on, and watched as her breathing slowed for sleep.

She looked up at him. "Did you love me?"

He did not hesitate. "I still do."

Narrowing her eyes, she regarded him coolly. Why had he waited so long, then?

He held his hands up, palms open. "You can call me a liar, but it's the truth. I kept every letter. Except for the one about the engagement. I lost my temper and sort of set it on fire."

"Then why did you go?" She sat back and crossed her arms.

"I wasn't going to not go to the wedding of the woman I loved. Even if it wasn't to me. I didn't say what I wanted to, but I knew if I didn't go, I would have regretted it." He smiled sadly. "You were the most beautiful bride I ever saw."

"What about Mai?" she asked, her tongue more acidic than she meant it to be.

He looked downward, bit his lip, and shook his hea lightly. "She was the second most beautiful."

They both looked at Ming Li. She snored lightly and scratched at the floor with her front paws. Her mouth began to twitch and she barked quietly, chasing. Zuko watched as a smile spread over Katara's face, and she ran her hand along the side of the animal's face.

The tea kettle began to boil over. Zuko shrank the flames and pulled the kettle from the fire and poured their tea, jasmine. Katara walked past him and put the pot of stew in the hot seat. The flames grew to their original size as both sat down. After the tea had steeped, they drank silently. When the stew was ready, she gave him a bowl without asking. They regarded each other as their spoons scraped against the uneven bone bowls.

She wondered if he thought it was beneath him. The stew, the bowl, the small house, and the strange pet. He probably had grown accustomed to the luxurious meals from the palace, with fine china. He had a dragon, but that was more regal than a polar bear dog. She'd found one for Korra, although she wasn't sure how the two were taking to each other. Maybe she should check on them.

Everything in her tried to deny his confession. Decades late, loved ones lost, lives that would never be. Maybe he was just a horny old man. She could call him names, though she knew he wouldn't respond to it. His old age had caused him to lose some of his temper. Katara's only seemed to have grown, flaring with impatience and disgust of flattery.

They took their bowls and cups to the kitchen. He began to clean them off, and she stood with a hand on one hip and looked up at him. The young man she had once known was now old and greying, his face wrinkled and his hands withered. He was bent over, squinting to see if the bowl was properly cleaned.

She sighed. "So, will you sleep with the dog or me?"

He stepped back in surprise, a bowl in his hands, wet and soapy. "I don't…"

"Come on, you regained your honor long ago; no one will say anything if you share a bed with a lowly water tribe woman."

His eyes softened and he shook his head. "You have never been lowly."

She raised a brow. "Is that a yes?"

He hesitated. "If...if you will have me. Yes."

She smiled, took the bowl from him and led him away, holding his hand.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think and if there's anything you want to see in future chapters. :)**


	10. Wedding

**Author's Note: airichan623 pointed out that the jumps in time might be confusing, so I'm adding how long it's been since the war ended, and the location of each chapter.**

 **Fire Nation: Five years after the war**

The Firelord announced his Fire Lady. Zuko and Mai stood side by side, smiling in their regalia. He wore his formal red and black robe, shoes that came to a point at the toe and curled upward, and his hair in a topknot with his crown firmly in place. Mai was in an astonishingly feminine dress, black and red silk. It wrapped around her thin body, flaring at her hips and falling softly to the floor, with oversized sleeves that hid her hands. She wore a crown of her own, placed in her hair by her new husband. She smiled thinly, her hand on his chest. The crowd cheered, and the nobles clapped politely. Katara's heart felt stretched thin as Aang gave her as kiss on the cheek and led her to the dance floor.

"Aang, no. I'm pregnant. I don't want to fall and hurt the baby." Her belly was large. She had about a month to go. Gran-Gran told her it was going to be a boy, and Gran-Gran was never wrong about the sex of children still in the womb. She thought about names, but she knew if it was a boy, Aang would want to name him after someone important in his life. Gyatso was her first guess, in hopes that he might be an airbender.

He frowned. "Okay. Can I dance with Toph?" He held her hand gently, smiling at her. Kind, gentle, soft. That was her husband.

"Of course. Though I wonder if she'll accept." She laughed at the thought of Toph dancing. Though she would know where to put her feet, Katara imagined the young woman stomping on her husband's on purpose and calling him Twinkletoes. Toph's affection was shown through nicknames and playful physical attacks, though it was only Toph that considered them playful.

"She'd never miss the chance," he said, grinning at her. As he walked off to find her, Katara saw Toph moving around in strange patterns to throw him off. She tried to blend in with strangers until he caught on to her and she took off again. After a few minutes of looking under the tables, accidentally walking in on a stranger in the bathroom, and causing a cook to burn a whole batch of appetizers-and consequently being banned from the kitchen-Aang stood still to sense the mischievous earthbender.

Realizing she was going to be caught, Toph darted outside to hide from him. Aang caught sight of her and chased her through the garden.

Katara laughed and sat down carefully. Her child wriggled around, causing her discomfort as he stretched out his little arms and legs. She reached for her drink when a hand grasped hers before she could move away.

Looking up, she saw her sister-in-law, smiling widely at her. Suki was wearing a simple green dress, similar to her Kyoshi uniform, though her face was not covered in warrior paint. Instead, she had on pale pink eye shadow and dramatic winged eyeliner. "So," she said, gossip saturating her voice. "How is Aang?" She sat down next to her so they could be more secretive.

"Oh, he's fine. He just went out to find Toph. He wants to dance with her, but I bet Toph will slip out of it." She took a sip of her drink and frowned. "Do you think they have drinks without alcohol?"

Suki took the cup from her. "Ugh. Excuse me!" she called to a servant. He came over to her and listened intently. "My sister here is pregnant. Can you get her a drink without alcohol?"

"Of course. Is there anything particular you would like?" he asked Katara.

"Just water is fine."

"No it's not. Can you get her the hibiscus juice, Pao?"

The man bowed deeply. "Yes, my lord."

Katara and Suki turned, seeing Zuko.

Suki grinned. "Zuko, are you trying to fatten us up with all this extravagance?"

He shrugged, his arms raised as if to say he had nothing to do with it. "Mai's family wanted it to be extravagant, so here it is." He looked at Katara and his face softened. Though he would never admit it, he was a sucker for kids. "When is the baby due?"

Katara touched her stomach. "A month. He's getting too big; I'm afraid I won't be able to get him out." She laughed, blushed.

"Do you want to have him here? We have midwives that could help if you're worried. I know you have a few in the Southern Water Tribe, but if you'd like, you and Aang can stay here for the birth."

"Wow, royal treatment. You should do it." Suki lightly nudged Katara's side.

She looked conflicted. "I don't know. I'd have to ask Aang. Would Mai be okay with it?" They'd never been close, and Katara knew she didn't want to be on the Fire Lady's bad side.

"I'll ask, but I'm sure she would be fine with it," he reassured her.

Nodding, she let out a breath of relief, until more conflict came her way. Aang had Toph strapped to his side, carrying her like a load of lumber.

"Toph won't dance with me. You're no fun, Toph, you know that?"

She shrugged, uncaring. "Some people think I'm fun. Like Sokka. Where is he? And who are you talking to?"

"I won't let you down unless you agree to dance with me."

"You know where Sokka is: stuffing his face as usual."

"Suki!" Toph had an advantage now. "Get Sokka over here."

"Aang, I don't see why you don't just-"

"Suki, I need Sokka as my back up. He's an idiot but he knows how to get stuff done."

"Okay," she giggled, heading off to get him. She wanted to see what would happen between the three of them.

Aang looked from Katara to Zuko, torn. He bit his lip and bounced on the balls of his feet. "I'm holding Toph captive! Don't tell them which way I'm going." Toph sighed exasperatedly as he sprang off in the opposite direction, leaving them alone. They looked at each other in silence for a moment, until Pao arrived and handed Katara a glass filled with a red, sweet-smelling juice. "Thank you," she said. He bowed and left them.

She took a sip and widened her eyes, looking to Zuko. "This is delicious."

He smiled, gestured to the seat beside her. "May I sit?"

"Of course."

He took Suki's seat and watched as Katara drank the nectar. "Why doesn't Toph get out of his hold? It's not like she isn't strong enough."

She shrugged now. "Maybe they have a crush on each other," she said without thinking. She bit her lip and looked down. "Well, in a friend-way, I guess. Those exist, right?" She looked to him for approval.

He looked away. "I don't know."

Katara continued to sip in silence, her chest aching with milk, but more so from the look on the Firelord's face. She wasn't sure what to say, so she changed to topic. "I really admire the Fire Nation's marriage traditions. They're very different from the Southern Water Tribe's."

Zuko nodded. "It seems people always want what they can't have. I would have preferred a wedding similar to your's and Aang's. No uptight decorum or nobles."

She smiled at him. "Well, there was one particularly uptight noble at my wedding."

He made a face at her. "Aang wanted me to go penguin sledding with him, and I really didn't feel like killing any animals for sport at the time." The Avatar had grown, though so had Zuko, who was still several inches taller and quite a bit heavier. Aang had remained lithe enough to not weigh the animals down, but if Zuko had tried, he certainly would have squashed them.

Katara shook her head and let out a joking tsk sound. "The Firelord refusing to appease the Avatar? How could you?"

His eyes glazed over as he recalled the scrolls he'd read just before the end of the war. Avatar Roku and Sozin. The blood of both flowed in his veins, that of the traitor and the betrayed. He thought it fit well with his history: a banished prince, that once accepted, turned his back on his family to seek redemption for his ancestor's misdeeds. Aang had held no grudge against him for the painful betrayal, which was more than he could have hoped for after the way Zuko personally had treated him. He silently vowed that he would never harm the Avatar again.

"Zuko? I was just joking."

He looked up to see Katara, her face lined with worry, eyebrows pulled up in the center. "I know," he said. "It just made me think of something." When he attempted to smile, it worked, and it was genuine.

Suki reappeared with Sokka in tow. He had his mouth full, and had to guzzle down a full glass in order to swallow. "Where'd they go?" she asked.

"That way," they said pointing outdoors to their right.

"Got it!" Sokka grabbed Suki by the hand and led her away. She flashed a grin at Katara on their way out. "Boys," she mouthed.

By the time Suki and Sokka found their friends, the party was winding down and most people had left. Aang smiled nervously at his wife and waved. She knew he loved her, but sometimes she just wished he would stay by her side instead of finding something else to do. He could only be calm during meditation or sleep, and if he wasn't doing one of those, he was on the move and unable to sit still. A true nomad, she thought.

When he sat beside her, he took her hand. She explained that Zuko had invited them to stay for their child's birth. "Is Mai okay with that?" he asked.

"He said that he would ask her, but she'll probably say yes. We don't have to, but-"

"No, that's a great idea. I have plans to go with the rest of the gang to take care of some problems in Omashu. You can stay here and by the time I get back, our baby will be here too." He smiled widely at her, happy with the news.

She gave him a thin smile when he kissed her, looked down to her belly and wrapped her arms around it.

"I'm going to go to tell Sokka!" He ran off to find her brother, leaving her alone.

Slumping in her chair, she stared at her belly. "I don't know what to do," she said, quieter than a whisper. This is not the life I anticipated I would have, she thought. I'll ask him to come back earlier, that way he'll be here for the birth. That is a compromise he'll accept.

Unfortunately, Aang did not make it back in time to see the birth of their child. His duties as Avatar were placed higher than fatherhood by the rest of the world, and he could not let them down. By her side were Mai and Zuko. Azula helped the midwife, but refused to touch Katara in anyway. When the baby was out, Katara held him in her arms, and a voice slipped from her lips. Looking at his wild hair, she said, "Bumi."


	11. Growing Families

**Fire Nation: Seven years after the war**

Mai held their baby in her arms, sweat from her forehead causing her bangs to stick, her hair falling around her face in lanky clumps. Her skin was bright pink during labor, but now had gone pasty, beyond her normal paleness. Her eyelids threatened to close every few seconds. She looked exhausted, and as the baby began to cry, she pulled out a breast and pressed it to the girl's face. She latched on happily and began to suckle. Mai hissed in pain. "No more babies unless you want to feed them."

Zuko smiled. "Okay. What do you want to name her?" He handed her a glass of water, urging her to drink it.

She huffed, watching the child eat, and drank. Her throat moved violently as she gulped the whole thing. He took the glass from her and set it on the bedside table. She leaned back against her pillows and looked down at the child. Stroking the baby's hair, she said, "I like Izumi. A 'z' for you and some 'i's for me." She smiled at him, her face soft and vulnerable. "Come here," she said, lifting the blankets for him to join her. She patted the space beside her.

He stood and walked to the other side of the bed, crawled in between the sheets. Mai's sweaty shoulder stuck to his shirt. He watched her chest rise and fall with her breath. She needed to rest, but he knew she wouldn't want to have to wake up to feed the baby when she started crying again. He looked at her face and saw her thin lips smile at him mischievously. "I just told you, no more baby-making unless you feed them."

He chuckled, not bothering to explain what he was actually thinking. The baby had fallen asleep on Mai's breast, her lips slipping from the nipple. He reached to the girl and touched her cheek with his thumb, soft and smooth, unblemished, perfect. "Izumi," he said, moving his hand to play with her thin hair. "I like it."

They laid together with their new child, talking softly. Her family was coming tomorrow to see Izumi, he had a council meeting, they needed to have clothes made for the little one, and then Azula was going to be bringing Ty Lee to the family dinner, would her parents be okay with that? Their soft voices turned to whispers, until finally they fell asleep, midsentence, leaning on each other. He drifted into a dream...

 _He was sitting in snow. It was beginning to fall heavily. He jumped to his feet and hefted the Avatar over his shoulder, running forward, unsure of where he was going. The princess was out of the way, and so was the Water Tribe peasant. She wouldn't chase him into this storm for a kid she barely knew. When he spotted a cave, he rushed for it, and once inside, set the Avatar down, only to watch him fade into nothing._

 _As fear overwhelmed him, he found himself sitting in snow again. The clouds were hanging low in the sky, getting ready to release their burden. He looked down to see he was wearing blue, wearing clothes from the Water Tribe, Northern or Southern, he wasn't sure. His eyes widened as he stared at his hands, wrinkled, veins popping out, his knuckles large and swollen._

" _Zuko?"_

 _He looked up into the face of an old woman, wrinkled as his hands. Her eyes had become beady and lost some of their shine, but they were the same blue. Tears rolled down her face, and she took his hand in hers._

 _Suddenly she shifted, was young. Her eyes turned gold, her hair moved upwards into two buns, and her face became grim. She held a baby to her side, turned away from him. The snow melted, and he was in their room. "How could you?"_

Zuko woke with a start. He turned to look out the window. It was night, but the his wife and their child were still asleep. It must have only been for an hour or so. His uncle had told him that the baby would wake up often, crying to be fed or changed or held. Quietly, he lifted the blanket up to cover his wife, and touched their daughter's face gently, admiring her tiny nose.

He stood from the bed, and walked out to the balcony. Looking up into the bright face of the full moon, he wondered what his friends across the world were doing. It had been two years since he'd seen them, at Mai's and his wedding. There hadn't been much time for hanging out with them, since he had to make sure the wedding was going smoothly, and then there was the honeymoon, and by the time they were back, it was only Katara there, waiting for her baby to arrive. Three months after she left with Aang and Bumi, her letters stopped. He couldn't really blame her. She was a first-time mother and had a lot to take care of.

From what he'd heard, Toph was off teaching at her metalbending academy, terrifying her students and having a good laugh at them all. Sokka and Suki spent their time together, six months in the Southern Water Tribe on the counsel with Hakoda, and six months on Kyoshi Island to teach new warriors. Aang was off teaching his acolytes about the Air Nomad culture and how to live as one. Which meant Katara was mostly on her own, taking care of Bumi, and now her newborn Kya.

Maybe they should all have a get together. It'd have to be in the Fire Nation. Ozai had been executed after his old followers tried to break him out and assassinate Zuko, and there were still some lurking in the land that wanted to get rid of him.

Looking down to the garden below, he watched the moonlight play upon the petals and leaves, stared at the reflections on the pond. A light breeze marred the glass-like surface of the pond, sending ripples out across the water. He saw a figure sprint across the bank, dive into it headfirst. When they emerged, gasping for air and laughing, he froze. They lifted water from the pond and started bending, sending a light rainfall over the garden. Zuko stepped back, wiped the drops from his face. When he looked to the pond, the figure was gone.

Izumi let out a wail. Zuko stared at the pond, waiting to see if they would reappear, but after a minute, he cast the thought asside. I'm probably just overtired, he thought. He turned back into the room to take care of his family, heavy hearted.

* * *

He woke up earlier than usual to write a letter to Katara. Maybe he needed to put in the effort to see that he still wanted to talk to her. She had always been the one to make the first move, and now it was his turn.

In his study, he sat staring at a blank scroll. He had no idea what to write. "Hi, I haven't talked to you for almost two years, but anyway what's up?" Not sure what to do, he wrote her name at the top. Katara. There. Now he just had to put his thoughts into words and transfer them onto the page. But the thoughts he wanted to convey, not all his real thoughts. That would make a mess for everyone.

Three crumpled drafts and an hour later, he'd finished his letter. He sat back to reread it for the fourth time.

 _Katara,_

 _Mai and I have had our first child, a daughter named Izumi. She was born just yesterday. I'm surprised how sweet her temper is compared to her parents. Hopefully it won't change as she grows up._

 _I heard you've given birth to another, Kya, I think. It's a lovely sentiment to name your child after someone that means so much to you. The Fire Nation isn't very fond of that; names can be derived from another, as with my grandfather Azulon and sister Azula, but to name a child after a family member is taboo._

 _I'm sure that you have a lot going on, but I'd like to invite you, Aang, your children, Sokka, and Suki to the Fire Nation. It's been too long since we've seen each other. I'll send an invitation to Toph's metalbending academy as well. Whenever works best for all of you will be fine, just inform me. I look forward to seeing you all again._

 _Yours,_

 _Zuko_

Not very friendly, but it was good enough. He took it to a servant to have it sent to the Southern Water Tribe, and silently hoped that the response would be what he wished for, and that it would be there soon.

* * *

 **Southern Water Tribe: Seven years after the war**

Katara picked up her child and carried him, though she thought he was too old to be treated this way. He was getting heavier, and he was already going to be three. Maybe Aang was babying him more than necessary because he might end up an airbender. She wondered what he would do if none of their children were airbenders. Would he be angry at him or more disappointed and quiet? It was sometimes hard to tell how he would react.

Aang ran by and took Bumi from her in a burst of air, held him up with a swirling ball. Bumi giggled. "Katara, look. He likes the air," Aang said, beaming at her.

"Aang! Be careful with him!" Katara glared at her husband, hands on her hips, willing him to set their child on firm ground.

"Oh, okay," he said in a much calmer tone. His eyes were downcast and he moved slowly. Bumi descended into Katara's arms.

He giggled again. "I like air!"

She huffed and turned to Aang. "Why do you have to put our child in danger? We don't even know if he'll be an airbender. Maybe Kya won't be a bender. Maybe Bumi will be a waterbender. Maybe _none_ of our children will be benders!"

He winced. "I'm sorry, Katara. I'm just excited that maybe airbending will return. It's been so long. I miss the monks and all my friends. I miss having all those people that shaped who I am, that understand me completely. It's something I want to pass on to our children."

Bumi walked to Aang and held his hand. "Papa." He smiled at his father, and his father smiled back. Her heart ached.

Katara sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I'm just worried and fussy. You miss your people, and I shouldn't be angry about that. Please forgive me."

Aang took her hand with a smile. "Let's go home and eat. I'm sure we're all hungry, right?"

Bumi jumped and cheered with the suggestion.

She smiled. "I'm sure Sokka will like that suggestion after watching Kya for the last few hours."

When they returned to their home, Sokka burst through the front door, Kya waddling after him. "Your daughter is crazy!" he yelled.

Snow rose from in front of her, formed into a lumpy ball, and flew after her uncle. It pelted him in the backside, and he went down face first with a shriek. She giggled and clapped her hands happily.

Aang and Katara looked at each other.

She shrugged. "Well, looks like we got one bender."

They entered their home, Aang leading Bumi, and Katara carrying an unwilling Kya. Suki was sitting at the kitchen table, writing on a scratch of paper. She looked up at them and grinned widely. "Congratulations. Your niece can already kick her uncle's butt."

"That's not fair. Katara didn't start doing her water magic until she was eight." Sokka crossed his arms and stared at his sister, pouting.

"I guess having the Avatar as the father sped up the learning curve," Suki returned with a smile. "I bet she'll be a maser by the time she's ten."

Aang smiled at the thought.

Katara set Kya down, who instantly started after Sokka. "You don't think we could have earthbenders of firebenders, do you?"

"Hmm, I dunno," Aang said. "Maybe. Gyatso never got to tell me anything like that."

"Does my sister want a little earthbender, hmmm?" Sokka ribbed her with his elbow, reached down to pick up Kya and make baby faces at her. "That's what we have Toph for. She's little and an earthbender. All covered." He booped his niece's nose, and in return, Kya shoved two fingers into her uncle's nostrils. "Gahhh! Would you get this thing to stop attacking me?" He held her out to Katara.

She rolled her eyes at him and took the child. "She isn't a thing, you numbskull." Katara pushed Kya's hair back, smiling at her.

Aang was still caught in though, a hand to his chin. "I guess if we did have an earthbender, Toph could be their teacher when she's out here, otherwise we could ask Taru. And then for fire...well, Zuko might be too busy, but we could ask Jeong Jeong or Uncle Iroh."

"I like that old man," said Sokka. "We should go see them soon."

Katara looked up. "Actually, I got a letter from Zuko. He wants us to go visit, whenever it works best for us."

Suki stood up. "How long has it been since we heard from him? Almost two years?"

The Avatar nodded slowly. "He's been through a lot since his and Mai's wedding. We really should go. It's been a long time, and it'd be nice to have the gang together. Think of it: swimming, sunlight, warmth."

Suki smiled, while Sokka and Katara let out groans.

"The sun is nice and all, but I'd rather have our sun. All covered by clouds. Ahhh," Sokka sighed, thinking happily about the place where he already was. "So homey."

"Well, let's decide when we're going, then," said Aang

"I WANNA SEE UNCLE ZUKO," Bumi yelled.

Picking up his son, Aang tried to calm him. "We're gonna see him real soon, okay buddy?"

Bumi started celebrating, which made Kya want to do the same. She waterbended some tea out of a cup and splashed it in Sokka's face, giggling again.

"Katara has to get that kid under control before we get to the ocean."

* * *

 **Author's Note: To Marie: no, Katara's baby (Bumi) isn't Zuko's. Aang couldn't be there for the birth, so Zuko, Mai, and Azula were.**

 **Thanks to everyone for your reviews! They're keeping me going. :)**


	12. The Beach

**Fire Nation: Seven Years after the war (Katara)**

To Sokka's distress, it'd been eight months and Katara hadn't gotten Kya's bending under control, and here they were, at the beach. He maintained a good fifty foot distance away from the ocean when Kya was near. Katara spent most of her time chasing after her children and trying to keep them under control, while Aang encouraged Kya to practice splashing the water around. After two hours, she gave up and had Aang look after them.

Sokka and Suki lounged under an umbrella, while Toph laid on a rock she had brought with her. Zuko and Mai shared another umbrella, watching over Izumi. Azula and Ty Lee laid together in the sun, rolling around laughing, and giving each other quick pecks.

Katara pulled the water out to meet her, then let it drag her out to sea. Letting the peace seep into her, she floated on her back, eyes closed, listening to the quiet rumble of the ocean. The sun warmed her face, and she knew how quickly her skin would darken if she stayed out too long. And then her skin would start to peel. She shuddered, opened her eyes, and sat up to look over at Aang and their children.

He had both in his arms, dipping them in the water, smiling as they giggled. Her heart seemed to drop some weight at the sight. She swam to them and took Bumi, who laughed out, "Mama loves me." Katara held her son fiercely to her, stroking his hair. "Mama loves you so much." She bent the tears back into her eyes.

She'd been so emotional for the past few years. The depth of her love for Bumi and Kya were something she would never be able to explain. They were her life, her reason for living, what gave her a purpose after her warrior status had been replaced with wife. She could still fight, better than ever really, since her bending had returned a month or so after marrying Aang. There was no reason she could explain why it'd returned, or why it had disappeared in the first place. Maybe the strength of her emotions had caused a short hiatus while she calmed herself down.

"Mama?" Kya looked up at her from the shore. "Mama love me?"

"Yes. Mama loves you so much, too."

She frowned and started to cry.

Katara carried Bumi from the ocean and set him next to his sister. Aang took Bumi's hand and walked him towards the rest of the group, suggesting they get something to drink and maybe a snack. Bumi skipped, singing a nonsense song about the snacks he wanted to eat.

She kneeled down and held Kya. "Why are you crying?"

"Mama sad. No be sad." She moved back and held her mother's face in her tiny hands, staring into her eyes.

"I'm not sad. I'm happy to be here with you and Bumi and Daddy."

"Weally?"

She nodded, wiping away her daughter's tears. "Do you miss the snow?"

It was Kya's turn to nod. "Hot here!"

Katara laughed. "Want to scare Uncle Sokka?"

"Yes!" she squealed, balling up her little hands into fists.

Holding her hands under the shallow water, Katara froze some into snow, rolling up in her hands. "Here, get him with this," she said, placing a small amount into the girl's open and waiting hands.

Kya giggled and waddled off calling, "Aun Sukiiiii, Unc Sokkaaaaaa."

Sokka bolted up, standing and ready to flee. "What? Katara what did you do?" he shouted. Before he could figure it out, Kya sent the snowball at him, hitting him in the face. As it slid down, he caught it and started rubbing it over his arms. "That's actually refreshing and welcome. Thanks, Sis! Thanks, Kya!" He raced over and caught her in his arms, whirling her around and sending her into a tizzy of giggles and screeches.

Azula sat up and grinned. "Sure is easy to please, huh?"

"I'm a man of simple pleasures," he said, tickling his niece's tummy as she begged for mercy. He relented, but not soon enough. Kya's bladder emptied out onto his torso. "Katara," he called. "Your waterbender couldn't hold it!"

She rushed off and took her, a new wave of tears rushing down her child's face. "Oh, I think that's enough for them today. Bumi, do you want to go back inside?"

"No! Snacks!" He munched on some jerky, while Aang gobbled down a load of peas. "I'll bring him in when he's ready," her husband said.

She carried Kya while Sokka rushed for the sea to clean himself off. "It's okay, sweetie," she said, trying to calm her. As they went, she sang softly to Kya. Slowly, her tears stopped and she drifted into sleep.

Inside, Katara removed Kya's bathing suit and cleaned her, wrapping her in a thin sheet and laying her in a crib. She sat in a chair beside her, and looked out the window to her friends and family. They had all grown up, had more responsibilities. Their lives had taken separate courses and sent them off in different directions, but there were times like today, when they could be together, when they could slow down just a little and enjoy each others' company.

Taking care of Bumi and Kya on her own had become a challenge. Their energy was overwhelming. Aang was always off working with the acolytes, busy and eager. Katara was mostly busy and stressed. When Suki was in the Southern Water Tribe, she got a reprieve. Suki would take the two to Hakoda's and keep them entertained while Katara spent time on her own, either bending, walking through the snow, or taking a bath. Sometimes she would put on make up as bright and blotchy as when she and Toph were in the Earth Kingdom, then get in the bath and wash it off, looking at her stretched stomach and breasts.

She loved the three of them dearly, but something was missing, and it made her ache all over when she laid in bed at night unable to sleep.

* * *

 **Fire Nation: Seven Years after the war (Zuko)**

He stepped inside and saw her looking out the window. "Katara?"

She turned to him with a small smile, trying to negate the tears pooling in her eyes. "I'm fine. Don't worry."

He rushed to her and kneeled down, holding her hands. "Katara, what's wrong?" His eyes pierced into hers, demanding an answer.

She shook her head. "It's nothing, I just-" Looking him in the face, she said in a small voice, "Would you hug me, Zuko?"

The Firelord pulled her into his arms, and everything stopped. Her heartstrings loosened, her hands pressed into his back, and her knees unlocked. Peace flooded throughout her body, and her tears slowed, stopped. She leaned into him, her forehead against his chest, and felt the air enter and exit his lungs, calming her like a lullaby. "Thank you," she whispered, holding onto his shirt. He stroked her hair with one hand and pulled her tighter to him. "Of course." His warmth seeped into her, making her feel that she might get heat stroke. She forgot how much he radiated.

She moved back to look up at him. "You've turned out to be...a much more caring person than I'd ever imagined.

He let out a breath, still leaning over her, one hand on the crib, the other on her arm. "Katara," he said. "I-"

"Zuko? Katara? What's up?" Aang walked in, looking between the two. He thought of the list he'd seen on her desk, the name she'd said in her sleep. The feelings that rose frightened him. He pulled them back in, maintaining his calm.

Zuko let go and moved away from her, his face distorted, concerned.

Katara laughed nervously, wiping the drying tears from her face. "I just got overwhelmed and started crying. Zuko wanted to make sure I was okay. I think I've been overdoing it lately. Do you mind if I take a nap?"

"No, yeah, that's totally fine. Me and Bumi will stay out. I'll try to keep him from waking you guys up." He smiled at her. "Is there anything I can get you?"

She shook her hand, standing up cautiously. "I just need to rest." She laid down on the bed and closed her eyes. "Thank you."

Aang ushered Zuko out of the room and down the hall, where he turned on him and put his hands on the wall around the Firelord. "Is there anything you want to tell me?" he asked, quiet, brimming with threat.

Taken aback, Zuko stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"It looked like something was happening between you two."

"I just wanted to check on her. She's my friend," he said simply.

"You were pretty close, weren't you?" He moved closer, their chests touching.

"Aang, there's nothing going on. If it would make you feel better, I'll stay away from Katara unless you're around."

He looked down, shaking his head, then back out Zuko. Removing his arms, he said, "I'm getting jealous over nothing, aren't I?"

"There's nothing there. You have nothing to worry about."

Aang smiled. "Thanks. Having kids has made me so overprotective. Sorry I got out of hand."

"No worries," he replied with a small smile.

"Yeah, let's go."

As they sat on the beach, the words echoed through his mind. _Nothing...I'll stay away...nothing...nothing...there's nothing there..._ Was it a lie if it was one-sided? Maybe. He wasn't sure of much anymore. Nothing made much sense. As time passed, he only accepted political advice from his uncle, and now it was the only advice he would give. If Zuko wanted personal advice, he would have to ask for it outright. He didn't know if his pride would let him. He didn't even know how to go about it anymore.

 _Why am I even thinking about this? There's no way any of this will come to fruition. My life is what it is, and my feelings can't change that._

A scream from Ty Lee shook him from his thoughts. She was jumping up and down, her hands pressed to her cheeks, until Azula grabbed hold of her and brought her in for a kiss.

"What's going on?" Mai asked.

"Azula just-"

The princess interrupted. "She's agreed to marry me." The sun shone across her face, ecstatic. It was the first time in a long time that Zuko had seen real happiness from her.

Ty Lee escaped from Azula's hold and went across the beach, cartwheeling and jumping, letting out whoops on the way. The group cheered out their congratulations, while Zuko walked to his little sister, put a hand on her shoulder.

She looked up at him, tears of happiness in her eyes. Why is everyone crying today? "Brother," she said endearingly, and pulled him into an embrace.

He held her as she cried until Ty Lee took over. Watching them, seeing Ty Lee wipe the tears from Azula's face, seeing them laugh and cry together, seeing them hold each other tightly, he thought, _This, this might be enough. Just to keep me afloat._

* * *

 **AN: Sorry for the wait! I've had a lot of family/personal stuff going on. Thanks for being patient. Thoughts/comments? Anything you'd like to see in the next chapters?**


End file.
